I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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