Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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