just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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