Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
