You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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