we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
