I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize