I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
