3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
