haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
