me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
