Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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