Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dear god my vagina.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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