I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
