i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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