Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
