how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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