after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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