so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I party with great urgency now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
