my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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