If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
