i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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