If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
