my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
try to milk me bitch
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