thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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