My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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