Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
