we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
