I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
