My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
