honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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