SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
