How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
