What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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