Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
