I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
