God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
