Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
