so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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