You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
