It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
