i permit you to call me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
