You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
