Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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