Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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