whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
