Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
