My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
