i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
