I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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