3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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