Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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