Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
